happy to be alive.

yesterday i had a booth at our downtown festival. it was extremely hot (near 100 degrees) and no one was in the shopping mood - the people who did come out were basically trying to get from their cars to anywhere with air conditioning fast so they weren't even stopping to look at our hand made goods. I was feeling crabby and complaining that we'd barely recoup our booth fee.

at about 2pm, i figured i should eat something as i was getting sick - it was just so freaking hot - the last thing you want to do is eat. Right next to our booth was a group making rib-eye sandwiches so i bought one of those and sat down next to rhiannon and started to eat it. she was telling me a story and i have NO idea what she was talking about because the first bite of rib-eye contained a great deal of grizzle and it had lodged in my throat.

she kept talking, oblivious that i was beginning to panic as i realized i was actually for real choking and could not dislodge this piece of meat from my throat. i looked at her panicked but she must have thought i was just interested in her story because she kept talking. I tried to cough, tried to swallow, tried taking a drink of my soda. when I took the drink it all just pooled in my mouth and i stood up fast thinking "I need to find someone to help me RIGHT NOW". I looked toward the sidewalk at a little old couple and thought "no, they won't be able to do heimlich" and Rhiannon wasn't catching on that i was choking (yes, i should have done the international symbol for choking by wrapping my hands around my neck but i really thought the gasping sound and pointing at my throat would have done it). My thought was "i am going to walk back over in front of those guys selling the sandwiches, they'll be strong enough to help me or at least call someone". At that point I tried really hard to take a breath and the sounds was awful but the panic was definitely setting in. The old couple FINALLY looked at me and said "is she choking?" and Rhiannon said "what? are you choking?!" At this point i'm doubled over in our little booth area and she stands up and gives me a good whack on my back, at the same time I am able to cough the piece out. It was actually two pieces of meat connected by grizzle so I thought I had chewed the first piece well and swallowed without realizing it was connected to the other piece (gross i know - it was my own fault for taking too big of a bite).

i of course threw the whole sandwich away and was shaking and had a moment where i almost started crying because i was so freaking relieved and scared and emotional. Then we started laughing at the absurdity of it and how Rhiannon was just talking. (I told her I had NO idea what she had been saying the past five minutes and we laughed some more). Gab showed up about ten minutes after it was over and of course he told me i should have done the hands on throat thing and Rhiannon agreed (I said she probably would have thought I meant "kill me now" in referring to her story being boring or something).

After that I really didn't care if I sold anything because I was so relieved to be breathing. The day could have gone MUCH worse. I had stress dreams about it last night and while I was on my run this morning it played through in my mind again, i just needed to get it out.

My new Mantra: Take small bites. Chew thoroughly. Be Happy to be Breathing.

what's new?

just stopping by to check things out in blogworld.

i have been very busy with my new crafting business. Zombie Food officially launched in January and though right now it's available locally and through it's facebook fansite (zombiefood crafts) (via messaging special orders), it has taken off. check it out if you are so inclined. paypal and shipping to anywhere.

i am planning to create an etsy page in the near future also.

i have a partner in crafting crime with zombie food, rhiannon. she is sewing up the cutest toddler dresses out of old tee shirts. she also makes cuff bracelets from old quilt tops and hand made tutus. sweeet.

this week a cold turned wicked sinus infection knocked me out of the loop for several days. ugh. i finally went to the doctor and told him "i'm way too healthy to feel this bad" so i got a shot (seriously, a shot in my butt - can't recall the last time i got a shot at the doctor's). also some antibiotics (really hate having to take them).

starting to gear up and get plans going for the annual summer party. Video Games this year. i have heard a few people's costume plans and already can't wait for this group to get together in one place. 

peace

tie dye cake

my husband found a recipe for a tie dye cake and i couldn't wait to try it. 

quite simple and also delicious.

jude had already stuck his finger in the icing on this piece.

top chef

still watching Top Chef.

tonight's episode is a reunion show with past all stars...hmmmm, should be interesting.

haha, just realized that was more of a facebook status than a blog post.

might take me awhile to get back into blog groove. 

final death post: the aftermath

the closer we got to home the harder it was. gab had already told the kids that grandpa had died and i had no idea how they would be. both of my kids are and have always been extremely close to him. Magda used to call him "boyfriend" and he called her "girlfriend" and he would give her the moon.

He would sit on the floor with jude and play cars with him, always taking the one jude wanted and then laughing when jude would yell at him for cheating. He also was teaching Jude how to use tools and because of Grandpa, Jude could identify all the screwdrivers and different tools in Grandpa's box.

We picked mom up in lexington and she rode the rest of the way home with us. When we got to town she wanted to see the kids, I was not sure if that was the best idea but complied. As soon as she walked in the house, Magda ran into her arms and they collapsed on the couch holding each other and sobbing. No words at all. Jude rounded the corner and said "aw man, when dad told me about grandpa dying, i didn't cry one bit". 

A few minutes later he said "hey wait, when my dinosaur breaks again, who is gonna fix it?" he knew grandpa was the great fixer and was realizing how HIS life would be affected. He continued to rattle off things that would have to be thrown away because Grandpa couldn't fix them anymore.

I looked at my front door with Mel's tools still sitting near it and cried silently. The first few weeks it was a sad reminder and now more than a month out, it comforts me and makes me think of that day he had everyone standing around looking at it and we all laughed about how "many senior citizens does it take to install a front door?"

Jude never did cry about Grandpa dying but the following Monday he cried about EVERYthing else. He cried about me choosing out the wrong shirt for him, he cried because I made his toast wrong, he cried when i took him to school, he cried because his stomach hurt..Easier to deal with those issues than what was really upsetting him I suppose. Magda on the other hand, went head first into her sadness, sobbed uncontrollably and released it. By Monday she was ready for school and some normal kid stuff. 

I think I took more of Jude's approach, I'm not much of a head first into my emotions type of woman. I admire those who can do that.

so here we are over a month later, heading into the official Holiday season (and his birthday would have been this month). still sad but not quite as "fogged" over as i have been. the Earth keeps on spinning.

2009 has taken:

1. Mel

2. aunt ruth

3. Grandma Blanche 

4. Jill Bane (local young woman who fought cancer for 9 months)

5. Sammy Sartoris (good friend's little brother 17 yrs old)

6. Jeff Roberts (gab's good friend and rolltender only 33 yrs)

7. Hunter Gerdes (10 year old local boy who fought lukemia for 9 months)

8. Kathleen McLean (brother in law's mum)

9. Farrah Fawcett

10. Patrick Swayze

11. Michael Jackson

12. Bea Arthur

13. Billy Mays

14. David Carradine (Bill)

15. ed mcmahon

16. dj am

17. dom deluise

18. John Hughes

19. Natasha Richardson

9/11

My brother was driving down to be with mom on Friday, 9/11. She was mad that he was not attending Grandma Blanche's services but we didn't want her to be alone down there. Mel's sister and daughter had driven back Wednesday to help take care of her services so my cousin (kelly) drove over from Tennessee to sit with mom for a few days.

I was planning to drive down on Sunday and spend a few days. I really thought that it would come down to helping mom make the decision to take him off life support so I didn't know how long that would go on.

I woke up Friday morning and had a sense of urgency. I needed to hit the road "right now". I called my cousin (karen) who said she would ride with me (the sister of the cousin who was already there) and made arrangements with Gab and his parents to help with the kids. I was in Indiana at the time for a training so I actually had to drive two hours home, repack my backpack and hit the road. It took just around 8 hours to get there. I arrived at about 6pm.

at the ICU, you can only be in the room at certain times and for only half hour increments. I went right in at 6 and told Mel I was there and we missed him and the kids wanted him to come home. He was so frail and had tubes coming out everywhere, he would have HATED that. He had a male nurse named Forrest and he talked just like Forrest Gump but he was very sincere and caring. When our time was up, I told Mel "we have to go now, we'll be back in two hours".

we went to eat and at 8:00pm we went back in. His monitors were all over the place like his blood pressure was not stable at all. The doctor came in and told us that he was "very ill" that any ONE thing he had going wrong with him would put him in the ICU but he had several very serious things happening at once. He did not feel there was anything left to do. At 8:30 I had to leave so I held his hand and told him we couldn't come back tonight but we would see him first thing in the morning. I went to the waiting room where my brother was sleeping and my cousin was on her cell phone. My mom stayed (they let spouses spend an extra 15 minutes). Within moments of sitting down we heard over the intercom "Code Blue: Level 4" and seconds after that my mother comes running out screaming and sobbing for us to "come quick". My brother jumped up and I ran out (no shoes) and she tried to get back into the ICU but the nurses held her back and told her she could not be back there. She just cried and screamed at them that she was supposed to go get her kids, they ushered us into a family room near the door.

A woman came into the room with us who was with another family in ICU and she identified herself as a pastor and offered to pray with us. As she prayed my mom sobbed how "she can't live without him" and "where was Jesus when I asked him to make Mel better?" She does not even remember this portion of the event at all.

A doctor came into the room and kneeled down to us. She said "we got a heartbeat" and my mom jumped with hope. "But...to be frank...it's the medicine keep him alive at this point and when the medicine gets through his system he will likely code again". They escorted us in to his room again.

Mel's two sisters and one daughter were driving down (they had waited until after Grandma Blanche's services to hit the road) so they were about an hour away at this point. We hoped they could make it in time to say their good byes.

We were in the room maybe five minutes when he coded again. Again we were led to the family room. Forrest came in and said "he is likely going to die now, do you want to be in the room when it happens?" and we followed him back to Mel's room. There were about 6 other people in the room.  A large man performing CPR on his fragile body and a doctor pushing medicine into a mainline at his neck. Other people reading off stats and doing counts. It was chaos. My brother held my mom and I turned my back and looked at the wall because watching his body jumping up and and down was more than I could stand. My mom cried to him "don't leave me" and the doctor kept looking at her for permission to stop. My mom just wanted him to live. 

I thought, okay, I am in a fucking movie and his ghost is floating somewhere in this room.  He is watching all this unfold and I should see something. I concentrated on the ceiling and tried and tried to see ..something...but nothing.

Finally my brother who is very stoic and restrained cries and says firmly "MOM, tell them to stop" she replies "i just want him back" and Bryan says "HE'S HAD ENOUGH, WE'VE ALL HAD ENOUGH" so she whimpers "i don't want him to suffer anymore" and the doctor stopped pushing meds and the guy stopped performing cpr and everyone stepped back and we all just watched the monitors go to zero and flat line. I was still looking so close for some sign...a shadow, fuzzy shape, glow of light, nothing. Just a yellowing frail body with tubes sticking out.

My mom threw herself on his body and sobbed. Mel's sisters and daughter arrived about half an hour later. It took mom a couple of hours to be able to leave his body and go to the hotel but we did get her some xanax and made her take two. No one slept much that night and the 8 hour drive home the next day was a blur. Mom rode with Bryan, and Sandy and her boyfriend drove mom's car back. Family friends Donna and Richard had driven Judy and Debbie and I was with Karen in my truck. Convoy. We stopped at a great family buffet for dinner and we all felt "mel would have loved this, the food was good but he would have loved having so many family together even more".

death continued

soooo....

it was a Wednesday and mom asked the kids and I over for dinner. She and Mel were leaving for southern il for her eldest sister's funeral the next day and then another sister (and her husband) were riding with them to Tunica, Mississippi for a three day weekend.

Mel came out and didn't look like he felt very well. I mentioned this to him and we talked a bit about it. He was sure he'd be fine, he has been unhealthy for years having survived pretty much every major health scare you can think of (  congestive heart failure, colon cancer, open heart surgery, hip replacement, very large hernia, diabetic coma....we called him "bionic grandpa"). When his breathing got labored like that, he would take a water pill (?) and get the fluid off his heart and he would be better.

We ate dinner and when we went to leave the kids gave them both hugs and kisses (as they always do) and Mel took my hand and said "I haven't given up on your door, I'll be over next week when we get back". And off we went.

They attended my Aunt Ruth's funeral and headed to Tunica. According to mom and Aunt Wanda, Mel still was in pain and they told him that they could postpone the trip and head home. He insisted on going on down. He thought when he got to the hotel he would put his oxygen on and feel better. On Friday afternoon, my mom called 911 and the EMTs came and took all his vitals, his blood pressure was fine and they thought if he just took his pill to get the water off his heart he would feel better. He didn't want to go to the hospital (because he was worried about money) so the EMTs left. My mom called Gabriel to ask him which pill was the right one because mel just put all his pills in one bottle mixed up. grrrrrr. I feel a little angry at the EMTs who should have been more insistent on convincing him to go to the hospital for tests. According to mom and my aunt, they were pretty casual and gave them all a feeling that he was totally fine. It becomes very apparent that we start to blame everyone and everything and do the whole "what if" scenario over and over. What if I had insisted he stay home that Wednesday night when clearly I saw that he was not doing well?

Somewhere around midnight, Mel was in so much pain (his legs were hurting at this point) he told my mom he needed to go to the hospital. We got the call and Gab answered it, we were asleep so he was pissy. Plus he was still mad about Mel and Mom turning the EMTS away at noon when they were there. Honestly Mel has been in the hospital so many times and my mom always made it sound like he was going to die each time that this time we thought it was the same situation. After all, he survives EVERYTHING. He was in so much pain and his blood pressure was too low to give him any pain medication so they put him on a ventilator and in a twilight coma to alleviate pain. His blood pressure was almost non-existent like 60 over 40 or something crazy low.

So here is my mom living in a waiting room 8 hours away from home. My aunt and uncle were making trips back and forth to the hotel (which I must mention the hotel was awesome and gave them rooms for free for the duration of their stay since they stayed a few extra days to be with mom). Over the next few days his condition got worse. His kidneys started shutting down, he developed blood clots, and they thought maybe he experienced a stroke. They did dialysis to try to reboot the kidneys to no avail. His blood pressure never stabilized and his oxygen was floating somewhere around 70% even with 100% O2 flow. They talked about "making a decision". 

My aunt had to come home to start her latest round of chemo (yes, when it rains it pours) so Mel's daughter and his sister drove down on Tuesday. My brother and I were planning to stagger our visits so mom had someone with her at all times. I couldn't spend too much time because of the kids and gab's work schedule.

On Wednesday the phone rang at about 3:30 am. Before I picked up, I just prayed "don't say it, don't say it, don't say it". It was my mom and she was crying and she choked out "Grandma Blanche just died". So, Mel's mother passed away and he never even knew it. I hate to say it but I was relieved. I thought, whatever energy or strength she had left (she was 93) she would float down there and give it to him. Her services were on Friday, September 11th. 

death in the year 2009

2009 has taken a LOT of wonderful people from us, it's been rough. both celebrities and friends and family.

i just spent a good amount of time reading over my posts from the past several years and laughing about all the funny stories my kids told. i documented local disasters, accidents, and sad things too. i have decided to post the ordeal of my dad's death here (rather than facebook) since not many people read this blog anymore. it's more for me but feel free to read if you want.

Mel Sykes Jr. was my step dad but for the past 28 years he was much more a dad than my biological father (who I don't hate but don't have a very close relationship with either). Mel could have written a book about how to be a great step dad. I was a pre-teen when my mom and Mel got married so I was at the height of my puberty dramatic girl self. I was a total brat. Mel never ever at anytime acted like he was sorry that I was part of the package. He stuck with me and with love and patience he won me over.

It was after I got married and had kids that my relationship with my mom and Mel really grew. I spent a lot of time with them and they both helped me so much with both babies. We spent many Saturday mornings in the summer driving to garage sales. Mel loved to ride with me and the kids to Bloomington to Menards or Sam's Club (he loved to ride the scooter around with Jude and eat all the samples).

Mel was much more than just smart, he was wise. I relied on his opinion and really miss that the most. Many times over the last month, I have thought "oh, I need to ask Mel what he thinks about that" only to remember that I cannot have that conversation with him. I would get the Pantagraph on Sundays and do the first few (easy) answers of the crossword puzzle. Then I would give it to him, he would work the puzzle and leave a few for me to finish (usually the ones that involved a celebrity or song title). It was a joke that I would "have" to finish his puzzles. I have never known anyone as flat out smart and wise as he. 

the door project:

A few paragraphs does not even come close to doing justice to the affect Mel had on my life. He loved doing projects, he would measure about 50 times and it would drive me crazy (because I would just eyeball something). He had to have everything perfect and I appreciated that when he did something, I knew it would be done right. The last project he was working on for me was a new front door. True to form, he took about 10 days just to get the door in place. He had to take out the original door, measure, measure, measure, put the door back on because it was late. Then repeat the process several days in a row. He leveled out the floor around the door, put in new insulation and jams and at last the new door was in. Now, to tackle the hardware. LOL, he had my uncle, my mom, and my aunt all standing around looking at it for an hour before he actually installed it. The lock was not working "smooth" so he spent another full day working on that. At last, perfect. He left all his tools sitting in front of the door until he could finish the molding and trim around the door. He was going on vacation and would finish it when he got back.

shark week

sharks scare the freak out of me but i can't get enough of shark week.

i stayed up late watching a re-enactment of the Jersey shore attacks of 1916. several swimmers were attacked (and eaten) off the shore of New Jersey and the Matawan Creek which the ocean feeds into. SHARKS in a fresh water CREEK?! not any shark but they are pretty sure it was a Great White shark. Holy Crap. I am convinced now that they really COULD get in my bathtub while my eyes are closed.

Right now, Survivorman, Les Stroud is on doing different experiments to see if sharks prefer humans or different animals. Proof that sharks want to eat us.

august 09

holy august already.

this has been a busy summer. we spent a week at preppygirl's house, the kids all went to a drama enrichment program. they did awesome.

with a lot of help from my mom, i cleaned up and re-did our basement. it is now a great (clean) place for the kids to hang out (our of my hair that is). plus they can get away from each other too. Grandpa Mel put in cable down there, we set up the bar with all of mazzy's art supplies and the futon is perfect down there (where I don't have to sit on it).

last week had a house full of friends. it was wonderful. the john hughes party was a blast, lots of laughing. already planning next year's party (circus/sideshow theme). loved having so many new faces this year and hope everyone comes back next year.

next weekend we have a wedding to attend out of town. i have been dared to wear my vintage 80's dress (that i wore as a costume to the john hughes party), i am thinking that's what i'll wear.

the week after that we will spend a week in wisconsin at the lake. hope it warms up enough to put on swim suits!

then back to school for the kids. jude will start kindergarten. i'm still not happy about the attendance center crap so we'll see how that goes. at least mazzy will still be at our neighborhood school (for one more year only).

launching a brand new at home company here in the US come september. NYR Organics is the very first and only organic home based business in the US and the products are amazing (and gorgeous). you can check out the UK website for now if you want to get an idea of the products. go to www.nyrhome.com (prices are in pounds).

the future is going to be all about reducing the chemicals we put on our skin (our skin absorbs the chemicals we put on it and takes it into our bloodstream). 

i'm excited so many of my body shop team members have joined me in this venture. ready to get it started.

random

len as cousin eddie as sammy davis jr as lou reed. take a walk on the wild side.

allison pre-makeover with clark griswald

smells like teen spirit.

java girl and her hubby downtown

quite late in the evening of john hughes party. singing a little monty python.

where have i been?

i was gone so long i had to reset my password because i could no longer remember it.

spending too much time on facebook.

looking forward to our John Hughes party coming up next weekend. friends will be here. karaoke will be here. stella artois keg. costumes.

i'm still looking for a piano.

cold july.

dreary sunday.

meme from galoots blog

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?

I opened a store for two months. It was fun, I hope to do it again next year.

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don't really make resolutions.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

not anyone super close. Nate and Laura. Stazca and Luke. Danielle and Paul.

4. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?

hmm, adventure

5. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

well no dates are coming to mind so i guess none are "etched"

6. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I earned the free trip to Aruba. I opened a successful store.

7. What was your biggest failure?

taking the month of december off from my workouts. (starting back up jan 5 though)

8. What was the best thing you bought?

we bought and had installed new basement windows, that was the most expensive thing we bought. the BEST thing was the new MacBook Gab bought for me.

9. Who's behavior made you appalled and depressed?

the people who voted to give the banks a bailout and even more so, the CEOs who profited to heavily from it.

10. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Mazzy girl who made ornaments for the store and donated her profits to the Humane Society instead of buying herself a new Webkinz pet.

11. Where did most of your money go?

yeesh, gas for the Durango. Mortgage and utilities

12. What did you get really, really, excited about?

my trip to Aruba. finishing my World Tour of Beers 

13. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer? 

happier, same, richer (but not by much)

some of the walls

clocks, bowls, mail centers, bracelets, shelves.

wine cork bulletin boards, paper angels, pictures of chairs and stuff.

crazy beaded skull that i've been working on for two weeks. it's finished, entirely covered by beads, one bead at a time.

the road is long

wow, i've really neglected this blog. i am so addicted to Facebook that I forget to check back here.

I was sparring yesterday morning with my trainer and it was my first time. I like it but damn it's a workout. No wonder those boxers are dripping sweat and exhausted at the end of a three minute round. Well, I was channeling the Three Stooges in my mind (imagining I was doing the foot work, etc.) and then I did the 'ol circle the right glove in the air over his head and when he looked up, I jabbed him in the face with my left glove. He spit out his mouthguard and died laughing at me. I was doubled over laughing and the other girl in my class (who was on the bag) was cracking up. It was hilarious AND it got me out of about a minute of sparring because we laughed so hard the time ran out.

I have opened a little store in our downtown. It's very folksy/boho and I love it. The majority of items in the shop are repurposed hand made items like melted wine bottle cheese trays and cuff bracelets made from records. I have a big studio in the back of the shop and have been making message boards out of scraps of wire (picture clips), rusty wrenches (magnetic), and old bulletin boards (cut down into mini corkboards). I am liking them and sold one yesterday so that made me happy.
I have some talented friends who have contributed and I have hair clips made from old buttons, fused plastic bags (made from local grocery chains plastic bags), hand made paper angels and cute little reindeer made from an Osage Orange tree that fell in our local nature preserve. SO much more.
Also some fine art on display looking for a good home.


well, if anyone is still checking this blog....i'll post pictures later.

Poem for Monday the 29th

Monday, the 29th of September
nothing happened today that i will remember
you began with some rain
you ended quite plain
You are nothing compared t0 the 29th of November.

i have a dream...

my four year old son told me his dream the other night:

the boy: mom, i dreamed i was mustard last night.

me: what did you do as mustard?

the boy: someone squeezed me onto a hotdog and ate my whole body.

me: ouch, did that hurt?

the boy: nope they ate me up and then i was just invisible.


someone once told me that Freud said when you dream about eating mustard you are dreaming about eating your own shit. we used to laugh anytime someone wanted to eat mustard and say "you know what Freud says about mustard?"
i just looked it up and can't find anything about Freud saying that but they say mustard dreams are related financial stuff. hmmm

i think the boy just had a hot dog for lunch that day.

they're everywhere

I just experienced a "live chat" telemarketer. I made a room reservation at Super8 and as soon as I hit "reserve", a window popped open with a message that was directed at me. It asked if I was there and called me by name, I made the mistake of replying (because she tricked me and said that because I had made the reservation on the home site that I was going to get $20 off my reservation). "Jessica" continued to try and sell me the Super8 traveler plan or something. She typed that she would just go ahead and use my credit card that I used for my reservation and it would be all set up. I typed "NO" and she countered with more sales pitch. I typed "NO" again and she gave up and said "okay your card will not be charged and your account noted that you declined the offer." AND I didn't get the $20 off my room either.

Has anyone else experienced this yet?

misaligned planets

it's been a weird week. i keep telling people the planets must be out of whack because things just seem strange to me.

wednesday morning i got a phone call telling me that one of my brother's closest friends had shot himself in the head after an argument with his ex-wife. it upset me because this guy is really kind hearted and i know he has made some bad decisions but i like him. i did find out later that evening that he survived, he shot himself straight up through the chin and while he still has a rough road to recovery, he didn't have brain damage at least.

guns...i've never been a fan of them but have also never been a strong anti-gun person either. i grew up in the midwest, my dad was a hunter, my brother a hunter, uncles, etc.
my brother is "gun happy" and always has been though. It really is a wonder he didn't shoot something or someone (like me) when he was a teenager. He has an AK47 in his bedroom, about two years ago he made me shoot it off his back deck into the pond. I did not enjoy it. I can't help but think, if this guy had not had a gun handy, he would have just gotten pissed drunk and passed out. Of course, as Chimp pointed out, he could have walked in front of a train too.

I've been working out with a personal trainer. It's been two weeks (three days a week, so I guess it's really only been six sessions) and I really feel stronger and tighter. The scale has fluctuated between down 4lbs and the same as when I started, what is up with that? I sweat my butt off every workout, interval training, circuit training, and boxing (which i am loving). I just got finished with today's session and my arms are feeling weak after some bench presses and other upper body stuff.


It's rainy and chilly today. Too dreary for this time of year, seems more like late October. Blah.

what i learned in Reno and then some

1. flying over Salt Lake is amazing. the swirling agate patterns in the Earth were unexpected and I had to google it to see what I was looking at. A five year drought and salt flats. Hmmmm.

2. Reno is not as beautiful as Lake Tahoe.

3. Mineral make up is the best. (of course I recommend the Body Shop's version).

4. I have some ability with a golf club.

5. I can run up the down escalators without stopping or falling.

6. I still know how to bowl.

7. The air in Reno definitely messes with your head and body. There is no way five beers should have made me act like that.

and then some:

1. your blood sugar should be around 4 to 6 on the scale. if they say it's 14.1 then you are in bad shape.

2. it's a honking sort of day (my four year old declared).

3. an arched window with sunburst pattern looks much better than a plastic sheet stapled in place.

4. facebook is addicting